Back to it

Okay, I took the last few days "off". I'm not proud of it, but hey I'm human. My ankle was so sore I was forced to wear a brace and with a couple of stressful deadlines, I just wasn't cooking fresh foods. I'm not going to dwell on that. I will, however, celebrate the fact that I'm back on track.

My ankle is still a little sore so I didn't want to jump directly back into HIIT or Jillian's 30 day shred so instead my day looked like this: Tomorrow, I will try to start my day as I did today and then do either the HIIT or 30 day shred in the evening. We'll see how it goes.

AM: 1 mile WATP
PM: 2 mile WATP and 100 basic crunches

Loving Me!

Worried

I've been worried about something the last few days. I couldn't sleep well because I kept having nightmares about it. Sigh, I could've stayed in bed and continued to worry, but instead I just went ahead and got up and did the Biggest Loser Last Chance Workout DVD. I sure hope some endorphins kick in so I can relax a bit.

Le Sigh.

Stress will not distract me...

I'm suffering a bit of an emotional crisis right now. Ordinarily, I would let this be my distraction and give into hours on the sofa and carb binging. But I'm the new and improved me. So, I went out and bought a new crock pot (my old one was too small and unreliable). Now, I don't have the excuse of no time to cook. I'll season my food at night, take it out of the fridge and pop it into the pot before I leave the house. Problem: solved.

The workouts continue. I need to get back on those two-a-days. But tonight I did do 3 mile WATP + 100 crunches (most w/8lb medicine ball).

Yay Me!

One day at a time.

So, I had bought some junk food for company that I had over the holiday weekend. I noticed that I had been mindlessly grabbing a few cookies whenever I went to the fridge. So today, you know what I did? I threw it all away. I absolutely REFUSE to surrender to my lower Self. Healthy living is conscious living and I am consciously deciding to choose life and health.

On an emotional note, I am learning to control stress in other ways besides eating sweets and other junk. I am also looking to switch up my exercise routines so that I don't get bored. Yesterday I did Jillian Michaels 30 day shred and today I did 40 mins of African dance and 100 crunches. I am DETERMINED to release this excess weight for good!

On still another note, I am starting to really feel sexy again. Though I'm still a size 18 (give or take), my waist is becoming more defined and my thighs are absolutely gorgeous if I say so myself. When I look at my pics from Ghana, I am amazed how much I've changed in just the last few weeks. Give Thanks for choosing health.

Peace, Love, & Light.

Still Working on Me

I'm determined to continue on this path. The weight is coming off slowly, but you know what? It's becoming less and less about weight and more and more about how I feel. I am determined to continue to grow in positive directions. I am learning to say no to things that do not benefit me. And I'm learning to release things that raise red flags with less effort. I guess I'm continuing to grow up. May it all continue.

Peace, Love, & Light.

Still Pushing

Good News: I'm being more disciplined with my eating and working out than I have been in a very long time. Unfortunately, the visual results are not coming as quickly as they have in the past. I'm thinking some health issues I've been going through may be to blame. I have some very difficult decisions to make, but I am determined to take good care of myself in the process.

I will continue to make good choices that will continue to help me become the best me I can possibly be. I deserve it.

Still At it

My knees have really been acting up lately...BUT I'm still hitting those two a days. It usually looks like this:

45mins on treadmill (20 min/mile) in the AM
20-40 mins of circuit training or strength training (it rotates) in the PM

Two a Days

So, because I know that I'm the kind of person that needs to see results to maintain my discipline I've up'ed my workouts to two a day. So far, neither session is too hard, but I'll give myself a week at this intensity and up my pm workout next week.

Today
AM: 18 min Yoga + 15 min circuit
PM: 20 min circuit

Getting Back to Basics

For the past week or so I have worked out every day. My eating is better (still not perfect). I'm a little discouraged because I haven't seen results as quickly as I usually do, but hey....it'll happen soon.

The break has been long enough....

I chose to get back into the swing of things today after a particularly difficult morning. There's no need to add to my problems and to ignore my health because things don't seem to be working the way I thought that they would. So........

Eating: Sucked!!! (had a band adjustment today so hopefully with the lessened amount of intake I can get the urges under control)

Workout: 30 min on treadmill with 5% incline (2 miles); 25 bicycle crunches (lawd, I used to be able to do 100!); total of 19 real push-ups.

Mood: crappy

Tomorrow...

I get my first fill in the lapband EVER on tomorrow. I had the surgery almost a year ago and am down abour 62lbs, but I want to lose about 75 more. I'm a little disappointed that I'm resorting to this method, but I am excited about the results.....Sigh.

Last Resort

Okay, I need a jump-start to get this train back on its tracks. I've decided to have the saline put back in my lapband. It's been empty and offering no restriction for almost a year now. However, my weight has fluctuated slightly and I've not lost any significant amount since that time. Now, I need to see a change so that I can get my motivation back. My appointment is Monday. I've been here before. I know that I won't be able to eat more than 1/2 cup at the most without being uncomfortable. However, I'm ready this time. I'll be drinking a lot of protein shakes and making sure I take my vitamins. I'll also make sure I'm doing a lot of muscle training to keep my skin tone right. I'm kinda scared, but I need to do this to get my mind right. Sigh.....

Why Don't I Ever Try Enough?

It seems to me that one of my biggest lessons to learn is to simply try harder. Maybe things have come too easy for me. When challenges finally present themselves, it seems that I find it difficult to face them with dignity and grace. Even this weight issue manifests in a similar way. Take for example the fact that once my knees began giving me real problems, I simply stopped seeing my trainer and my treadmill activity decreased greatly. A challenge presented itself and instead of finding a different way (like water aerobics) I simply gave up.

I'm noticing that I do that in other areas of my life too. I guess I need to learn how to put on my big girl draws and step up to the plate. The easy way may not necessarily be the best way. It's time for me to be serious about some things.

I'm ready to be the best me I can be.

Still Learning

I have turned my back on making my health a priority. Part of the reason is because I wanted to "save" my relationship so I made those things that I thought were most important a priority. However, I did not listen to my man. He tried to tell me that my health was important to him. I should have made ME a priority because I should have been the best me because that's what he deserves. He deserves the very best of me because he is the best.

Anywhoo...I worked out this morning and will finish up tonite with 50 crunches and 50 squats before bed. I'm going to get this train back on the tracks. Not just for him, but also for me.

tip

sigh

I think my struggle with my weight has finally taken away from me the one thing I've prayed for.

Fruits and Veggies

I have had a hard time getting in my daily requirements of fruits and veggies. Thank goodness its finally warm enough that I actually WANT smoothies. So today, I got in all my fruit requirements through a delicious peach and mango smoothie. Tomorrow I will add some spinach to that to balance it out. So far so good, mmmmmmmmmm.

sigh

This painful knee is really slowing down my progress....slowing it down yes, but stopping it? NO!

Mistakes

I didn't work out for the last two weeks. I was so upset with myself I almost decided to give up. But then, I realized that I didn't have to give up. I am good enough to give myself what I deserve. So, I'm back on track. I'm eating better and working out daily. I am making good choices. Like tonite, I did a mile and a half, and 100 crunches. Tomorrow is circuit training. I had plans to end the evening with a nice refreshing green smoothie but my blender died. But that's okay too...what doesn't kill me only makes me stronger!

Feeling Unloved

yep...I'm going through some things!

I know that my parents love me. I know that some of my friends sincerely love me. I know that I am supposed to love myself. But right now, this week, this month, this season, I do not feel any of it.

I'm feeling so alone. Something is awry. I feel so off of my game. Perhaps the truth is that I've never really been on my game at all. Maybe--Actually I'm pretty sure--that I have simply been floating along on the blessings of my ancestors and the prayers of my elders. I'm pretty sure I am being called to task. The problem is that I do not know exactly what I should be doing....

Who is my friend in this? Who do I share my frustrations and secrets with? Who loves me enough to put up with my self-pity and self-sabatoge? I don't know anyone who would willingly sign up for the job...and that hurts.

Sigh

I so wanted to be below 200lbs by today. I'm kinda blue about that. Le Sigh. This mess hurts. Tomorrow is a new day but today I think I'll just wallow in some self-pity for awhile.

Discipline--Mind over Matter

Okay, I've been on an emotional high the last few days because I realize that it is truth when people say that what we think we can hold. My faith has been renewed, my faith has been strengthened and I'm learning that its because I have refused to allow fear and doubt to control me. I have reached out for help.

I have made mistakes, but they have not become who I am. I am bigger than any wrong decision. If I fall down I can choose to lay there and feel sorry for myself or I can choose to get up and keep moving forward. I'm choosing to keep moving forward.

I'm beginning to like me a whole lot better. I have cut off some people who didn't mean me well. People who were fair weather friends...people who were far too negative...people with no desire to be and do better--all of them had to be released so that I could cut off the dead weight that was keeping me from flying.

I choose to surround myself with people who push me to do and be better. I choose life and to live it more abundantly!

Peace, Light, & Love.

in total control

I am making conscious decisions to continue to live in a way that supports my efforts at a healthy life.

Stalemate

So this week I didn't lose anything. Not a single pound. I could sit and pout and give up on getting healthier. But I WON'T quit. I will continue to push and journey forward. I will make even better choices and I will up my calorie intake to boost my metabolism. My trainer is convinced that I haven't been eating enough to rev it up as I should.

On another note, I found a tasty, healthy fast-food entree. Panda Express has an entree called mushroom chicken. It has chicken, mushrooms, and zucchini cut up in it. It tastes very good, has veggies, and is only 250 calories!!! YAY! I'm going to be doing a lot better and my goal weight is in sight.

Hello Sexy, I'm on my way! LOL

great workout

Today I had a really good (and painful) work out with the trainer. I am committing myself to pushing myself on the days I work out alone at least as much as the trainer pushes me.

I had some sweet tea this week and my face is already suffering from it. I guess my skin is communicating that it prefers the water only approach. So I'm listening and doing better.

thankful

At least three people told me that they could see a difference...that I looked good. That made me feel really well.

Still pushin,
dasweetstcypha

Tonite's Epiphany

Tonite's workout felt extra good and now I'm extra sore LOL. While I was struggling through the reps (my trainer was killin' a sista), I began to think about how good it would feel to finally see myself again. I've been hiding myself under all this extra weight for years because I have been afraid about revealing myself to the rest of the world. Thank God that I am beginning to understand that I don't have to do that anymore. The extra weight has cost me so much and I'm sick of paying. I'm ready to be the best me...to be all of me.

Other than that, I saw that Haiti had an earthquake (7) today. The little problems I have are nothing compared to the tragedies that a lot of other people must face. It's time that I stop feeling sorry for myself and begin to count my blessings. There are enough of them that I should be pretty busy. Thank God for that!

Steady....

I'm emotionally unwell. I am still hurting and its been almost two months. I do not know when my heart will heal (or if it ever will). I am feeling so drained and so unworthy. Honestly, I don't know if I even really like myself all that much right now. It seems like I keep making mistakes and I continue to be punished for them. Although part of me just wants to give up on everything, I have decided that I am too good for that.

I can do this for myself. I can continue to work on me. Heck, maybe that's what this is all about--learning to put me first. I'm still making better (though not perfect) choices. I am still moving forward. I'm another pound closer to my goal. I've been working out consistently.

Even if no one else cares, I do.

Despite it all....

I really haven't been feeling well today. My stomach wouldn't keep down most of what I ate today and for some reason I've been suffering from bloating and pressure in my belly. Despite it all, I still worked out. I didn't feel any worse after I jogged on the treadmill so I don't regret suffering through it. I want to really stick to my lifestyle changes. So, even though my bum knee is acting up and my tummy hurting, I still did what was best for me. That's what choosing health is all about :-)

I'm happy

being me.

Fear

I am continuing to choose health. I did almost 200 crunches yesterday and a slew of squats. My legs and belly are on fire today LOL. But that's a good thing. I am determined to shed all fear about how I look. I've been afraid to shed weight because part of me felt insecure about the potential attention I would attract. But I'm over that fear. I'm okay being attractive. It doesn't matter if I attract attention, I get to choose whose attention I respond to.

Here's to getting my sexy back....

I Choose

After thinking (and praying) about my stress levels, I realized that by worrying about them I was multiplying my anxiety all by myself. I have decided to stop giving strength to my stress by simply choosing not to be stressed. If I can be faithful about other things in my life I certainly can have faith about being at peace.

You know what? It's working! Every time I feel the tightness and pain in my heart begin, I simply stop, breathe deeply, and remember that He that loves me is in control and Spirit takes care of the rest. My fears and doubts only make it easier for worries to creep in. If I simply speak aloud that my life has no room for fear and doubt I begin to feel better.

And so the healthy choices continue....

Thanking Spirit for Peace,
dasweetstcypha

Cortisol....

So, I've heard that stress can cause our bodies to produce too much cortisol which typically causes belly fat to develop. Okay, so I've been really stressed for about a month now. I have tried everything--working out, prayer, meditation, etc. It seems like I can't get it together. I feel tense about 90 percent of the day. Sleep is elusive and I rarely get more than five and a half hours a day. This is causing my weight loss to plateau. I'm starting to get frustrated...what am I going to do???? Ugh!!!!!

New Year

I'm still making healthier choices. I'm still exercising. I'm loving me.