Detoxer's Crisis

Okay, yesterday went pretty well for the most part. I was able to adhere to my eating regime. The liver flush tastes AWFUL!!! But I did it. Last night the "crisis" started as the headaches began, this morning my face is full of little red bumps. Why does cleansing have to put you through all of these changes?! I allowed myself some eggs and soy cheese (I made a veggie fritatta with spinach, artichokes, mushrooms, red and green peppers, & onions--all organic). Ordinarily that would have sent me into a tailspin since I'd already broken the "vegan" part of the detox. However, I'm not beating myself up about it. Hey...if cheating means a veggie omelet instead of Micky D's I'm considering that a small victory. :-)

Detox and Veggie Eating

Okay,

This morning I began a 28 day detox and eating plan. It consists of a liver flush in the am. Fresh fruits and fresh fruit juices until 10am. From 10am-4pm raw or slightly steamed veggies. I can have almonds or any fruits and veggies as snacks. After 4pm its back to only fruits/juices.

I'm also taking some herbal supplements during this time. I'm journeying towards health and well being one step at a time. I will use this time to re-adjust my lifestyle (yesterday I didn't even turn on the tv which is a big step for me!). I'm aiming for less toxic relationships, habits, foods, etc in my life.

I'll be documenting my journey here and will take pics that I hope to post so you can see my results at the end.

In peace and perfection,
Me.

Yesterday's Post

You know what, I realized that the picture I posted in the blog yesterday also indicated some of my issues. I chose to show the pic of Orville and I because I think it helped me "prove" that someone attractive had been interested in me. I still didn't show my whole body. So here's the pic that should have been included.

As you can see, I've gained back much of the weight I'd lost with my PT; I'm going to work on fixing the inside while I improve the outside so maybe this time it'll be true release and not just loss.

Peace.

You Know What???

I thought, or at least I tried to pretend, that I am happy with myself. I wanted to pretend that I totally accepted my self and that I had positive body image. But a relationship, that perhaps was never meant to be & lasted for only a few weeks, has brought me to a place where I am looking at myself and can admit that I do not like what I see.

You know, a man had to point out to me that of the three hundred plus photos I have on my computer, only a few are of me and none of them show more than my face. He explained to me that though I wanted to pretend that I loved myself and thought I was valuable, my actions showed that I was not. He told me things that I never wanted to hear, but definitely needed to overstand.

I may not have had the relationship that I wanted with him (he is a beautiful, thoughtful, kind and intelligent man), but he gave me what is beyond valuable. He showed me that where I thought I was strong, I was truly weak. He helped me to see that the issue is not really my weight, but that I don't think I'm worth valuing. He showed me that what I was presenting as an easy going, accomodating attitude, was really me trying to make people like me because I didn't like myself. He explained that a real man would never be able to be proud of someone who was not proud of herself.

It hurt so much to hear what he had to say, but you know what...change and growth always hurts. I now have come to admit to myself that this journey towards health and well-being, is not just a physical one, but also requires that I heal some things deep within me that I would not have otherwise faced.

So if he ever happens across this page, let him know that for what he has helped me see, I will always truly be grateful.


In Peace and Victory,
Tiffany