Feeling Unloved

yep...I'm going through some things!

I know that my parents love me. I know that some of my friends sincerely love me. I know that I am supposed to love myself. But right now, this week, this month, this season, I do not feel any of it.

I'm feeling so alone. Something is awry. I feel so off of my game. Perhaps the truth is that I've never really been on my game at all. Maybe--Actually I'm pretty sure--that I have simply been floating along on the blessings of my ancestors and the prayers of my elders. I'm pretty sure I am being called to task. The problem is that I do not know exactly what I should be doing....

Who is my friend in this? Who do I share my frustrations and secrets with? Who loves me enough to put up with my self-pity and self-sabatoge? I don't know anyone who would willingly sign up for the job...and that hurts.

Sigh

I so wanted to be below 200lbs by today. I'm kinda blue about that. Le Sigh. This mess hurts. Tomorrow is a new day but today I think I'll just wallow in some self-pity for awhile.

Discipline--Mind over Matter

Okay, I've been on an emotional high the last few days because I realize that it is truth when people say that what we think we can hold. My faith has been renewed, my faith has been strengthened and I'm learning that its because I have refused to allow fear and doubt to control me. I have reached out for help.

I have made mistakes, but they have not become who I am. I am bigger than any wrong decision. If I fall down I can choose to lay there and feel sorry for myself or I can choose to get up and keep moving forward. I'm choosing to keep moving forward.

I'm beginning to like me a whole lot better. I have cut off some people who didn't mean me well. People who were fair weather friends...people who were far too negative...people with no desire to be and do better--all of them had to be released so that I could cut off the dead weight that was keeping me from flying.

I choose to surround myself with people who push me to do and be better. I choose life and to live it more abundantly!

Peace, Light, & Love.

in total control

I am making conscious decisions to continue to live in a way that supports my efforts at a healthy life.