The break has been long enough....

I chose to get back into the swing of things today after a particularly difficult morning. There's no need to add to my problems and to ignore my health because things don't seem to be working the way I thought that they would. So........

Eating: Sucked!!! (had a band adjustment today so hopefully with the lessened amount of intake I can get the urges under control)

Workout: 30 min on treadmill with 5% incline (2 miles); 25 bicycle crunches (lawd, I used to be able to do 100!); total of 19 real push-ups.

Mood: crappy

Tomorrow...

I get my first fill in the lapband EVER on tomorrow. I had the surgery almost a year ago and am down abour 62lbs, but I want to lose about 75 more. I'm a little disappointed that I'm resorting to this method, but I am excited about the results.....Sigh.

Last Resort

Okay, I need a jump-start to get this train back on its tracks. I've decided to have the saline put back in my lapband. It's been empty and offering no restriction for almost a year now. However, my weight has fluctuated slightly and I've not lost any significant amount since that time. Now, I need to see a change so that I can get my motivation back. My appointment is Monday. I've been here before. I know that I won't be able to eat more than 1/2 cup at the most without being uncomfortable. However, I'm ready this time. I'll be drinking a lot of protein shakes and making sure I take my vitamins. I'll also make sure I'm doing a lot of muscle training to keep my skin tone right. I'm kinda scared, but I need to do this to get my mind right. Sigh.....

Why Don't I Ever Try Enough?

It seems to me that one of my biggest lessons to learn is to simply try harder. Maybe things have come too easy for me. When challenges finally present themselves, it seems that I find it difficult to face them with dignity and grace. Even this weight issue manifests in a similar way. Take for example the fact that once my knees began giving me real problems, I simply stopped seeing my trainer and my treadmill activity decreased greatly. A challenge presented itself and instead of finding a different way (like water aerobics) I simply gave up.

I'm noticing that I do that in other areas of my life too. I guess I need to learn how to put on my big girl draws and step up to the plate. The easy way may not necessarily be the best way. It's time for me to be serious about some things.

I'm ready to be the best me I can be.

Still Learning

I have turned my back on making my health a priority. Part of the reason is because I wanted to "save" my relationship so I made those things that I thought were most important a priority. However, I did not listen to my man. He tried to tell me that my health was important to him. I should have made ME a priority because I should have been the best me because that's what he deserves. He deserves the very best of me because he is the best.

Anywhoo...I worked out this morning and will finish up tonite with 50 crunches and 50 squats before bed. I'm going to get this train back on the tracks. Not just for him, but also for me.

tip

sigh

I think my struggle with my weight has finally taken away from me the one thing I've prayed for.

Fruits and Veggies

I have had a hard time getting in my daily requirements of fruits and veggies. Thank goodness its finally warm enough that I actually WANT smoothies. So today, I got in all my fruit requirements through a delicious peach and mango smoothie. Tomorrow I will add some spinach to that to balance it out. So far so good, mmmmmmmmmm.