New Place

I'm in a new place...geographically and spiritually. Its all about New Beginnings and New Creations.

This morning I ate: 2 slices of turkey bacon and one boiled egg...2 glasses of h20...and took my b-complex vitamin.

Back to it

Okay, I've started and stopped more times than I care to count...but today is a new day. I'm pretty good at following rituals once I establish them so I'm going to be more ritualized about how I record my activities. It may make for a boring blog but it will hopefully make for a more fit me.

Food: Okay, this sucked. I made a few good choices but still ate way too many sweets today.

Water: Drank over 8 glasses...yay!!!

Exercise: 1.5 miles
30 min weights focus on core and legs
75 crunches no weights
12 crunches 8lb weight

Mood: I'm starting to realize that the only person really responsible for how I feel is me. I think that's part of what gave me the motivation to get off my lazy azz and go to the gym today. A new me is just waiting to be free from all this excess baggage that includes much more than just physical weight. I've got some emotional issues and spiritual works to tackle too.

slowly but surely

I've started doing at least 50 squats and 100 crunches before bed. I haven't gotten back to my cardio yet, but baby steps...baby steps.

Okay

I'm starting over...for real this time :-)

Learning to take care of me

Okay,

I've discovered that one of my major obstacles is lack of preparation. If I allow myself to get too hungry while I'm out of the house, its EXTREMELY difficult for me to avoid fast food stops. So this morning before I left the house I prepared some jerk veggies, packed up some leftover brown rice and plaintain and will have that on hand if I get hungry. I'm also taking some Kashi crunch bars in case the sweet and crunchy monster attacks.

I read somewhere that women always pack bags so that their babies are well taken care of when they're out and about, but seldom do we take the time to do that for ourselves. So now that I have a rolling briefcase (grad student books and woes)I can take more along with me. So today I have: 2 bottles of h2o, a kashi bar, my rice and veggie mixture, and some raw unsalted almonds. Wish me well!

In Peace & Victory,
Me

Warning..TMI ahead lol

Okay,

I didn't stick to 100% vegan, but my eating has improved. Most of the bumps have cleared up and I have more energy. I danced for a few hours Saturday and now my calves hurt...I don't think I've ever had sore calf-muscles! Especially since I wasn't doing too much of anything, just slow meditative movements. TV has basicly disappeared. I probably spent less than 5 hours this entire week on it. Yea for me! Still trying to get over the heartbreak, but hey, I can do this!

TMI: My BMs have been full and satisfying lol. When I eliminate, I feel totally cleaned out afterwards. Here's to roughage :-)

Detoxer's Crisis

Okay, yesterday went pretty well for the most part. I was able to adhere to my eating regime. The liver flush tastes AWFUL!!! But I did it. Last night the "crisis" started as the headaches began, this morning my face is full of little red bumps. Why does cleansing have to put you through all of these changes?! I allowed myself some eggs and soy cheese (I made a veggie fritatta with spinach, artichokes, mushrooms, red and green peppers, & onions--all organic). Ordinarily that would have sent me into a tailspin since I'd already broken the "vegan" part of the detox. However, I'm not beating myself up about it. Hey...if cheating means a veggie omelet instead of Micky D's I'm considering that a small victory. :-)

Detox and Veggie Eating

Okay,

This morning I began a 28 day detox and eating plan. It consists of a liver flush in the am. Fresh fruits and fresh fruit juices until 10am. From 10am-4pm raw or slightly steamed veggies. I can have almonds or any fruits and veggies as snacks. After 4pm its back to only fruits/juices.

I'm also taking some herbal supplements during this time. I'm journeying towards health and well being one step at a time. I will use this time to re-adjust my lifestyle (yesterday I didn't even turn on the tv which is a big step for me!). I'm aiming for less toxic relationships, habits, foods, etc in my life.

I'll be documenting my journey here and will take pics that I hope to post so you can see my results at the end.

In peace and perfection,
Me.

Yesterday's Post

You know what, I realized that the picture I posted in the blog yesterday also indicated some of my issues. I chose to show the pic of Orville and I because I think it helped me "prove" that someone attractive had been interested in me. I still didn't show my whole body. So here's the pic that should have been included.

As you can see, I've gained back much of the weight I'd lost with my PT; I'm going to work on fixing the inside while I improve the outside so maybe this time it'll be true release and not just loss.

Peace.

You Know What???

I thought, or at least I tried to pretend, that I am happy with myself. I wanted to pretend that I totally accepted my self and that I had positive body image. But a relationship, that perhaps was never meant to be & lasted for only a few weeks, has brought me to a place where I am looking at myself and can admit that I do not like what I see.

You know, a man had to point out to me that of the three hundred plus photos I have on my computer, only a few are of me and none of them show more than my face. He explained to me that though I wanted to pretend that I loved myself and thought I was valuable, my actions showed that I was not. He told me things that I never wanted to hear, but definitely needed to overstand.

I may not have had the relationship that I wanted with him (he is a beautiful, thoughtful, kind and intelligent man), but he gave me what is beyond valuable. He showed me that where I thought I was strong, I was truly weak. He helped me to see that the issue is not really my weight, but that I don't think I'm worth valuing. He showed me that what I was presenting as an easy going, accomodating attitude, was really me trying to make people like me because I didn't like myself. He explained that a real man would never be able to be proud of someone who was not proud of herself.

It hurt so much to hear what he had to say, but you know what...change and growth always hurts. I now have come to admit to myself that this journey towards health and well-being, is not just a physical one, but also requires that I heal some things deep within me that I would not have otherwise faced.

So if he ever happens across this page, let him know that for what he has helped me see, I will always truly be grateful.


In Peace and Victory,
Tiffany

Pretty Good, but Could be Better

Today, I kept my caloric intake less than 1500 cals which for me is pretty good. My PT has me on about 1600/day so I came in good although my food choices were still a little poor. But I'm not beating myself up...I'm just glad I was able to stay within my allowance.

As some of you may know my PT has relocated out of state :-(
I'm currently not exercising as I should because its a lot more difficult to push myself the way having her pushed me. Having her check on my daily definitely kept me accountable. I can't afford anyone else to do what she did for her price so I joined the Discovery Health Challenge today...I figure maybe using Bally's for eight weeks free can be "new" enough to put me back on track.

I'm bringing sexy back! LOL

2008 is for new beginnings

Okay, so by the end of last year, I gained back 10 of the 20+ pounds that I had released. But I'm getting over that, slowly and surely. The encouragement from my fellow blogg-ettes has tremendously helped.

So, today, my eating was a little if-fy, but I did go get groceries so that tomorrow I will begin to get back on track. Another set back is that my personal trainer has moved to Atlanta, so I'm on my own in the gym. I really liked that she was there to make sure I was giving my all. Unfortunately, I'm a little intimated about finding someone new. I really loved her vibe and don't want to start all over :-(

But this is really just a test of my character (not my will). I am determined not to let this obesity thing get me. I was able to lose weight and lower my blood pressure not because I had fabulous will-power, but because I made a conscious decision to make a change for the better. I'm choosing that now again.

Happy New Year to all.

Peace, Love, & Light!